There was this girl… She came along and turned my whole world upside down and inside out…
The day she was born, I truly thought it was my curtain call, I wasn’t sure if either of us were going to make it. It’s a day I will never forget, but not only because it was the day I became a mom…. I will never forget it because as all hell broke loose I asked my husband for the phone. I called my parents even though it was around 4 or 5am for them local time. I remember the conversation as clear as day.
The phone rang once. I heard my Dad’s voice. He didn’t even say hello.
“Dad, the baby isn’t here yet. They are taking me into surgery, pray we both make it. If we don’t, know that I love you”
“Don’t talk like that. I love you, here’s your mother”
“hello? Mary, what’s going on?”
“Mum, it’s all going wrong. I don’t know what to do. It’s all going wrong. I don’t think we are going to make it. If I don’t make it, will you help Cory raise the baby?”
“shut up! Just do what you have to do. You will both make it. I know it. Just do what you know you have to do. Go. Have surgery. I’m praying and lighting candles. Call me after. I love you”
“Promise me, Mum”
“I promise, I love you. Now, go”
“I love you, bye”
That is probably one of the hardest conversations I have ever had in my whole life and I have no desire to ever repeat such a thing. It was horrific and painful, and far too real. I really wasn’t sure what was happening and if one or both of us would make it out of the OR alive.
But you know what, knowing she was about to be born gave me a new kind of fight, a drive I never knew I had and a willingness to do whatever it took. It took hearing my own mother say those words to me to realize it. I was a mother. I knew what to do, I knew I was going to do it and I knew I was going to fight. I was a mother now, I had another person fully dependant on me. I had no choice but to make it.
in less than 30 mins, I was groggy and getting ready to be wheeled into the recovery room where she and I were to be reunited.
Her birth story is one I still need to write, it’s still raw at times and so, we’ll save it for another day… but for some reason, this all came to mind today, and I know it’s because I’ve been processing a lot of it, but also because of this photo my sweet friend took of this same little girl last week.
So, here we are, a little more than 4 years later and look at her. Her sweet spirit is undeniable & she lives life as if it were a song that HAS to be sung, a dance that only she knows the moves to.
I am so glad that I was chosen to be her Mama, even if her entrance to this world was dramatic .
What a gift this picture is to my heart.
Thank you Sarah, thank you <3